Cowbells (keeping the country safe)

Posted on June 29th, 2014

Cow with murder in its eyes


The Cowbell.

As you are no doubt aware, the cowbell was originally intended to distract cows from their plans to destroy mankind (through staring). It gave them access to primitive musical instrumentation which, along with their natural rhythm, led to a smattering of bovine based bands including The Farm and Cud. They also secretly infiltrated mainstream groups (Dave Balfe? Morrissey?) and changed the face of British television with that old butter advert where some bastard forced them to dance.

The cowbell had proved its worth, and like everything else that cows hold dear, it was soon robbed and used for pleasure.

Popular tunes featuring the cowbell include:


  • Drive my car – The Beatles
  • Daft Punk is playing at my house – LCD Soundsystem
  • Welcome to the Jungle – Guns and Roses
  • Holiday – Madonna
  • Good Morning – Kanye West


…and a forthcoming song by Leno Goldstein, currently going by the working title of Ford Anglia (blue). Adam is so excited he’s taken his top off (again). Woah boy!