Posted on August 30th, 2014
Work on our forthcoming single ‘Smash It!’ isn’t going quite to plan. It’s supposed to be an unashamed grab for chart glory but at the minute it’s a sweeping epic concerning a forbidden tryst between two Latvian peasant farmers during the 1940 Soviet incursion.
There’s a slight disco bit during the fourth movement but even that’s an instrumental based on the motion of a butterfly that’s meant to question the inevitability of twentieth century history after the October Revolution. I think its small pop value is counteracted by the mournful cello solo around the 32 minute mark. Still, it’s a start.
People might criticise us for trying to make such a wantonly commercial tune but I’m trying to avoid more career low points like we suffered in the early nineties. Electro-rock/pop had fallen out of favour and I found work as a shotgun-toting rooster lip-synching to Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ on children’s show Dooby Duck’s Disco Bus.
I found Dooby Duck himself pleasant enough but slightly weird. We’d all heard the rumours like everyone else but we just put our concerns to one side thinking that rumours were all they were. We certainly weren’t prepared for what went on in the Disco Bus, or ‘Duck Truck’, as he liked to call it, after hours. We jumped ship shortly after that, some things just aren’t worth the money.
I think Dooby and the rest of the cast eventually ended up as the best part of a batch of Bernard Matthews Crispy Escalopes. Best place for him.