Smash it! – part 3

Posted on August 30th, 2014

Well, our attempt to write an unashamed pop hit named Smash It! seems to have gone a little too far and taken a slightly trashy turn. I know I wanted commercial but right now it’s just the synth’s ‘Rave’ demo and me going:

Sexy boy!
Sexy girl!
Disco time!
Sexy! Sexy!
(IN THE CLUB!)

I suppose it worked for Basshunter but I’m not so sure. Adam Newman thinks it’s the greatest song ever written.

Smash It! – part 2

Posted on August 30th, 2014

Work on our forthcoming single ‘Smash It!’ isn’t going quite to plan. It’s supposed to be an unashamed grab for chart glory but at the minute it’s a sweeping epic concerning a forbidden tryst between two Latvian peasant farmers during the 1940 Soviet incursion.

There’s a slight disco bit during the fourth movement but even that’s an instrumental based on the motion of a butterfly that’s meant to question the inevitability of twentieth century history after the October Revolution. I think its small pop value is counteracted by the mournful cello solo around the 32 minute mark. Still, it’s a start. (more…)

“Smash It!” – part 1

Posted on August 30th, 2014

Took the train down to Brighton to arrange a meeting with the lads and get the promotional train rolling for our forthcoming single ‘Smash It!’.

Met with Will Roberts and Adam Newman first but Will had polished off eight Tizers and a Shandy Bass by the time I got there. He was absolutely leaping. I tried for a full hour to discuss setlists but all Will could say was ‘We must reap the collapse of the Ottoman Empire!’ every two minutes.

Adam was more interested in talking about a range of new lightweight, durable and waterproof materials for stage costumes. ‘Spandex is yesterday’s fabric’ he assured me. Had a more productive discussion round Dave Badger‘s although his insistence we include a reworking of Chas and Dave’s ‘Snooker Loopy’ is causing friction.

‘Listen Dave,’ I said ‘I enjoy the snooker from time to time as much as the next man but I’d never say I was loopy over it.’ I won’t lie in song and that is an unshakeable point of principle for me.

On the way back to the station I stopped off for a brief meeting with Cliffette Rebelrouser (not her real name) of Small Pond Promotions. Rumour has it she’s putting on a gig for the ex-bassist from Steve Malkmus’ first solo band’s new band at the Prince Albert and I’m desperate to bag us the support slot. I arrived to find her parking her convertible Mini Cooper across a disabled parking space. Typical. You wouldn’t get that in Crouch End I thought. There are no disabled parking spaces in Crouch End for a start, as everyone there is conspicuously healthy.